Episode 5--Sulu [1/1]

Why did he feel so bad? Why did she even matter. She wasn’t his. They were at a party again. For being at Star Fleet, all they ever really had were parties. It was totally awesome. He wasn’t complaining. ‘The Thong Song’ because playing; much to the delete of the song. Hikaru Sulu stood there, admiring all the beautiful women. But there was only one beautiful woman he couldn’t take his eyes off of. Michelle. She was gyrating her hips, and beckoning for Jim to join her on the dance floor. All of the sudden, they were just grinding. Practically having sex, right there, on the dance floor. Sulu felt like crying. Why did this always happen? Why couldn’t he have someone to be with like that. Well, not like that but close.
He walked into the kitchen and saw someone bent over. Her skin was disgusting, brown and bumpy. She stood up and her head was shaped like a football. She was some intergalactic creature. She would be beautiful, if her face wasn’t so…Brown and bumpy. She was Cardassian, he finally realized. He wondered why it took him so long to realize this.
“Oh, hi.” She said suddenly turning around and looking at him. Her eyes were wide, and her smile was gorgeous.
“Hi.” Sulu said back, standing there awkwardly. Then he asked, “Are you hungry or something?”
“Oh, no. You just…You don’t eat it. Just arrange it.” She said, and he realized that he had probably embarrassed her somehow. In turn, that made him feel bad and he shook it off.
“So, I’m Madeline.” She said suddenly. Her name was perfectly normal. She seemed perfectly normal; aside from wanting to…Rearrange food.
“Oh, I’m Hikaru Sulu.” Sulu said. They stood there for a moment then Sulu reached into his pocket and found his bag of weed. “So, look, I have this big bag of weed and no one wants to smoke it. And…Did you want to?”
“I can’t.” She said. And she stood there, and hung her head, she looked sad.
“Why?” Sulu asked.
“I just can’t. It makes you hungry.”
“Well I don’t mind.” Sulu said.
“I do.” Was all she said. And it was almost enough to knock him off his feet. She was pretty. As pretty as any alien could be. And it was hard on him sometimes, to remember these people did have their own mind. That they were smart, funny, a person. Just like him. He walked forward and placed an awkward kiss on her cheek. He felt her cheeks tighten, and realized she was smiling.
--
“Did you meet anyone at the party?” Chekov asked in a thick Russian accent at his desk as Sulu walked in.
“What, you didn’t go?” Sulu asked, hanging his jacket on the chair adjacent to Chekov’s desk.
“No. I vas busy studying.” Chekov said, as if it was the obvious choice. “As you should have been, too.”
“Well, I’m sorry. Michelle wanted me to go.” Sulu said, annoyed, taking off his shoes.
“So you vent, because she vanted you to? Didn’t she ignore you the whole night?” Chekov asked.
“We talked some.” Sulu said uncomfortably. “And, anyway, that’s not the point. Look, it doesn’t matter. I met someone.”
“Vho?” Chekov asked interested.
“This girl named Madeline.” Sulu said.
“Ew. Vhy her?” Chekov asked in disbelief.
“What’s wrong with her. I mean, we didn’t hook up or anything. I mean, we just talked a little she seems nice.” Sulu said, he was getting absolutely annoyed with Chekov. His age difference was really getting to Sulu. Sulu was 25 years old. Whereas Chekov was 14. And was so proud that he would be 15 in a month’s time.
“She’s just gross looking. Don’t you vant someone that is decent looking?” Chekov asked.
“She’s fine! I don’t see a damn thing wrong with her.” Sulu said.
--
“So, I met someone at the party.” Madeline said excitedly.
“Oh my God! Who?” Gaila asked excitedly.
“Well, his name’s Hikaru Sulu.” Madeline mused.
Michelle gasped, and Uhura went wide eyed, “That is so cute!”
“Ew, that nerdy little Asian?” Gaila said in a disgusted voice. She picked up her drink and took a sip from it.
Uhura tossed her a dirty look, “What’s wrong with him?”
“He’s just so damn nerdy, it hurts. I can’t fathom why anyone would want to be with someone like that.” Gaila said dramatically.
Madeline sighed and Michelle rolled her eyes and said, “You can date him if you want to, there’s nothing wrong with Sulu. He’s hilarious.”
“Really?” Madeline asked excitedly.
“Yeah! Go for it.” Uhura urged.
“There he is right now.” Michelle said, pointing to where Chekov, Sulu, McCoy, Spock, and Jim were all sitting on the green discussing whatever it was boys discussed .
“Should I go over there?” Madeline asked, suddenly intimidated.
“Do it.” Michelle said in a low, dramatic, playful voice. “I dare you.”
Gaila laughed and then said, “Would you prefer I do it?”
“Hell no.” Madeline said quickly. And she stood up and walked over to Sulu. “Um. Hikaru…Can I talk to you in private.”
Jim laughed, Chekov teased, and McCoy went, “Bow chicka wow. Use your ‘throbbing vital organs’.”
“Um…What?” Madeline asked. And Sulu rushed her away.
“Well, it’s…It’s an inside joke. Someone mentioned it in class. So, what’s up?” Sulu asked nervously.
“I was…Just thinking that you and I could get together.” Madeline said subtly.
“What?”
“I think we should go on a date.” It all just spilled out.
“What, us?” Sulu asked, somehow genuinely confused. He had no idea how this would work out.
“We don’t have to have-”
“Okay! Okay, it’s fine.” Sulu said.
“Great! So, I’ll see you tonight?” She asked coyly.
“Hell yeah.” Sulu said smiling.
“Cool. Thanks. See you then.” Madeline beamed, and she scurried away back to her table to freak out about what had just happened. Sulu stood there watching her. Smiling as he walked back to where the guys were sitting.
“So, what just happened?” Jim asked.
“I…I got a date.” Sulu said in awe.
“How the hell did that happen?” McCoy asked, passing the joint to Chekov.
“I don’t know. She just came up and asked me.” Sulu said.
“She asked you?” Chekov said this like it was some kind of crime.
“Well, yeah.”
“Well, I think it’s a good thing! You can finally get some now!” Jim said happily.
“I fail to see why sexual relations in a relationship happen to be so important.” Spock said plainly.
“Because, every growing boy needs some tang. Am I right Chekov?” McCoy asked.
“Yeah.” Chekov said in between coughs from his weed.
Sulu frowned, “What’s wrong with her?”
“There’s nothing wrong with it.” Jim said.
“I think Madeline is a very nice person. So, I think that you will really enjoy her.” Spock said. At least he was saying something positive.
“In bed.” McCoy finished.
“Fuck you guys!” Sulu said, half joking. “I gotta go.”
“Why?” Jim asked, flipping on his back.
“I have a meeting with Professor Arash and my parents. About my grades or whatever.” Sulu rolled his eyes.
“Aren’t you supposed to be the genius?” Chekov asked sarcastically.
“And anyway, Spock, how would you know a thing about relationships?” McCoy barbed.
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah, I mean all you and Uhura have done is hold hands. Sex is pretty critical.” Jim said to him.
“I’m with Spock, guys, okay? Madeline seems really nice and fun. I don’t think I need to worry about sex for awhile.”
“Well, when you do, you might wanna ask where you stick it!” McCoy said, and he and Jim and Chekov began laughing.
“That is vulgar.” Spock said.
“I’m just saying!” McCoy said through laughter. “It might be her ear or something.”
Sulu was taken aback and walked away to Arash’s room. He wasn’t looking forward to him. This was the most prestigious “space school” and apparently he was close to getting kicked out. He began to think about Madeline, she seemed nice enough. He only wondered what his father was going to say.
--
“Sulu!” Professor Arash said loudly in Sulu’s face. “Now, this is what I mean. He just doesn’t pay attention. Pupils are dilated.”
“What?!” Sulu protested.
“He just doesn’t pay attention anymore. He was doing so well. Now he’s just given up. And with this mark, right here, this mark, he has failed the entire year.” Professor Arash said.
“WHAT?” His father hollered in disbelief. His father was 68 years of age, and his mother was around 37. It was kind of ridiculous seeing them together. Her soft pale Asian face and his wrinkled face and his eyes shrinking into his head.
“He’s failed the entire year. But, I worked, Hikaru, I did. And I got you an extension on this essay on how droids should be attached to ships to do repairs. I worked, and I got it, right?”
“Got what right?” His father asked.
“No, I got it…Right?” Arash explained.
His father nodded and his mother said, “Is this because of all those parties?”
“Yes! Parties. There have been quite a few parties lately, Mrs. Sulu.” Arash agreed.
“And you sit here and condone this?” Mrs. Sulu said angrily. “With weed….And uh, pills. And pregnant!”
“No. We certainly do not condone...pregnant.” Arash said timidly.
“Well, we are making sure you do your work!” Sulu’s father said harshly.
“Yes. You are coming home with us until you get this done.” His mother said. “I have had enough of this foolishness.”
They stepped out of the office, and Sulu walked as far away from his father, who was yelling at him at what an idiot that he was. He was barely listening. He had to listen to this everyday before he left. This was one of the main reasons he had left. His father stormed off and his mother turned to him. Her lips pursed, and her face twisted like a lemon.
“Hikaru, seriously. You know this upsets people. Put your head on straight, and do your freaking coursework. Or else you’re fucked.” And with that she walked away. Hikaru stood there with a plain expression on his face. He walked away, his head hung low.
“Hey, are you okay?” Came a sudden soft voice behind him.
“Wh-” He turned around and saw Madeline standing there, a concerned expression on her face. “Oh, Madeline. Hey.”
“I just wanted to remind you about our date. It’s tonight.” She smiled widely.
“I…I dunno. I don’t think I’ll be able to make it.” Sulu said cautiously.
“What?”
“Yeah, see I totally fucked up this semester. And I have to go back home and write a 1000 word essay about droids. So. I’m sorry.” He said quickly.
“Wow.”
“I’m really sorry. Maybe another time, Madeline.” Sulu said softly, he genuinely did feel bad. It’s not like he wasn’t looking forward to it. She didn’t seem like a freak. She seemed wonderful and funny.
“Maybe I’ll pop round tonight?” She suggested.
“Erm, sure. Go ahead.” Sulu said.
--
Michelle walked over to the bench Jim was sitting at. She kissed him, and he sort of pulled away. She noticed he was busy on his phone and glanced up every now and then at someone across the green. She noticed that it was Gaila. She pulled his face towards hers and kissed him again.
“I’m coming to your choir concert.” She said fiercely.
“Where that short black mini.” He said before she could ask.
“Okay.” She stood up and leaned down and kissed him again. Noticing Gaila and him flirting all the while. She felt tears come to her eyes.
--
It was late in the afternoon and Sulu was blank. He looked around his old room and thought about his old life. He had an older brother, who had been amazing in every way. He’d gone on to bigger and better things; a lawyer in New York. He sighed and looked at what he had written:
Droids are great for ships. They can really help us with damages and keep our ships in the best possible shape they can be in. As a pilot, I agree with this, and believe we should use them on all ships.
“Fuck.” He sighed out loud. He looked around, he wasn’t allowed to watch t.v. or do anything whatsoever. Just work. He walked over to his bed and struggled to think of something dirty. God, he had nothing. He wrapped his palm around the base of his dick, which was semi hard. He jerked up and down in a fast motion, nothing. “Shit!” He did this a few more times, then suddenly thought of something. He reached under his pillow and pulled out the candid Polaroid Jim had taken. Michelle was on the beach in a white bikini lying on a blanket. She was soaked, so you could clearly see everything through her top. The points of her hard nipples and the outline of her areolas. Jim took that damn Polaroid everywhere he went. Sulu immediately went from soft to hard in a matter of seconds. He grunted and trusted upward.
“Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.”
All of the sudden the door opened and Jim opened the door, “Oh shit!”
“Um…I was just…Yeah.” Sulu said awkwardly and he put the picture behind his pillow. “Can I put my pants back on?”
“Yeah…I’m just gonna step out.” Jim said uneasily.
“Thanks.” Sulu stood up and pulled up his pants. He sighed loudly. “You can come back in.
“Fuck’s sakes man.” Jim said as he came in and shut the door.
“Well, I’m cooped in here all day! What do you expect me to do?”
“Not for long.” Jim said playfully.
“What?”
“My choir concert. Don’t tell me you forgot. I told you about a dozen times!” Jim said all wound up.
“I…I have to work on this all day.” Sulu said lamely, pointing to his computer.
Jim gave him a dirty look and said, “Let’s see what you got?” He sat down and scanned Sulu’s work.
“For tit’s sake!” Jim said, shaking his head. He pressed the delete all button and started from scratch. He wrote:
Safety droids have been used since the late 80s in most Star Fleet outposts. Many ships have been accommodated to fit them, but not all are sure about the adjustment and change. However, if you were the have these droids-things would run a lot smoother on your ship. Damages would be assessed quicker and Star Fleet would be alerted faster.
“Wow. That’s really good.” Sulu said in awe.
“Anyway, you gonna come or not?” Jim asked getting up again.
“I don’t think so.” Sulu said slowly.
“Don’t be such a vagina! Look, I’ve done a lot for you. I mean, no one does have the shit for you that I do! And you won’t come to a fucking choir concert.” Jim said all this with his white, sparkling smile. Jim was complicated.
“You’re joking right?”
Jim slapped his arm playfully. “Totally. Just come. It’ll be fun. Drama. Singing. Choir girls. What could be better?”
“Drama?” Sulu asked.
Jim rolled his eyes slightly and said, “Just come and you’ll see.”
--
It was later and Sulu snuck out of his house, he’d barely finished his project. And he honestly didn’t expect to for awhile now. He breathed in and out slowly and watched his breath in the air. He remembered when he was little he used to pretend he was smoking a cigarette. He remembered his childhood vividly. Back to when he didn’t have to worry about girls or anything of the sort. Now he had too many girls to worry about. Too much going on in his damned life.
He sighed loudly as he saw Michelle, Scotty, Uhura, and Spock all standing outside. It began to drizzle as he walked over to meet up with them.
“Wait, I thought you had a date with Madeline?” Uhura asked as he walked up.
“Um..”
“Yeah, what about that paper you had to write?” Michelle asked.
“I snuck out.” He explained. And he instantly felt bad for skipping out on Madeline. She seemed like such a lovely girl. But he somehow thought his father would never forgive him for being with a Cardassian. He could already see the worry lines adding up.
“Aren’t you a wee bit too old for that?” Scotty asked.
“I’m in trouble.” Sulu said. “For my grades.”
Scotty snorted, “Yeh, you and everyone else.”
“So, it’s freezing!” Michelle shook. “Wanna go inside?”
Sulu’s first instinct was to reach out and hold her. To feel her shimmy and shake in his arms. To feel her head on his shoulder, and to rub his fingers through her soft blonde hair. How perfect could one girl be? He reluctantly agreed, hoping she’d ask for his jacket or lean into him. But she did nothing of the sort. The room was bright and warm, the stage was empty, and there was a slight drone of mindless chatter.
They found a seat in the third row. Sulu sat in between Spock and Michelle. They looked around, and saw Jim nowhere.
“Where is he?” Scotty asked.
“I…I’m not sure.” Michelle twisted her face and looked around. Sulu got a better look at her, she was wearing a short black skirt that showed miles and miles of glorious legs. She was wearing a light pink tank top to match with a little bow on the front. Her skin was so flawless and perfect. Too bad she was Jim’s.
“If my calculations are correct, I do believe we are at the right concert.” Spock said instantly. “And it should begin rather soon.”
All of the sudden piano music began to play, and about 25-30 choir girls came out wearing bright white shirts and black skirts. They looked rather pristine and clean cut. They began to sing the tune “God Only Knows What I’d be Without You” by the beach boys.
“Beach Boys, man.” Scotty said rather loudly tapping Uhura. “Fucking ace.”
“Where the hell is he?” Sulu said looking around, starting to get kind of worried.
“Hold on!” Michelle whispered pointedly.
All of the sudden Jim walked out, his hair was gelled over, and he looked just amazing. Michelle smiled proudly. She was in awe of how amazing he looked. Sulu saw Gaila to Kirk’s side, and his eyes widened immediately. Realizing the events that were likely to unfold.
“I may not always love you, but as long as there are stars in my view. You’ll never need to doubt it, I’ll make you so sure about it. God only knows what I’d be without you.” Jim sang these words to Gaila, and this made Michelle smile even wider. Sulu couldn’t believe how oblivious she was.
Gaila smiled too, and she began to sing her verse, “If you should ever leave me, well life would still go on believe me. The world could show nothing to me, so what good would living new be? God only knows what I’d be without you.” The choir broke into it’s chorus, and Jim and Gaila sang back and forth, “God only knows what I’d be without you” Then, suddenly Jim leaned in and he kissed Gaila.
Spock looked over Sulu, and saw Michelle’s face fall. Michelle stood up in a jealous rage as the next show began to walked back to the dressing rooms. “Shit, I’ll go after her!” Sulu said quickly.
“Okay, take care of her.” Uhura warned. “Come on.” She said to Spock and took his hand and led him down the aisle and out the door.
“Come on, Scotty.” Sulu said tersely. And he walked back to the dressing rooms. He avoided all the women’s screams as half of them were in their bras. They were rather upset that he was back in the area. Scotty took it in stride and reached out for a feel of anything he could get.
He walked up to Michelle. She was ripping pieces of paper off of a door that said Jim and barged inside angrily. She saw Jim with his shirt off, hand below Gaila’s shirt, and she was singing some little ditty in Spanish to him. He was feeling her up, and Michelle knew it.
“What the fuck?” She burst out.
“Oh, hi Michelle.” Gaila said turning to her brightly.
“What are you doing?” Michelle asked fiercely.
“Just checking her diaphragm contractions, baby. Simple act of performance.” Jim said smugly.
“Oh, bullshit Jim!” Michelle said heatedly. “You fucking sick…God you’re such an asshole!”
“I don’t understand why you’re getting upset.” Jim said in a puzzled voice.
Michelle shook her head, her eyes wide. “What? You don’t understand why I am upset? That’s my best friend! You’re fucking her, aren’t you?!”
“Now, why would I do that?” Jim asked.
“Michelle.” Gaila said.
“And you can fuck off, too!” Michelle spat.
“Chelle, why are you overreacting. This is not a big deal.” Gaila said.
“Overreacting?” Michelle repeated in disbelief. “Right in my face, you whore!”
“You know, typically episodes of paranoia come from a wide range of emotional and mental issues,” Gaila said expertly. Michelle’s eyes widened, “My mom, she’s a psychiatrist. Maybe she could-”
Michelle slapped her right across the face. “I’LL KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING BIG CHESTED BIMBO SLUT SPASTIC HORSE FUCKER!” Gaila screamed in her face.
“Whoa, good swearin’.” Sulu said, taken aback.,
Michelle looked behind Gail’s irate face and saw Jim smirking. She sighed and said, “Bye Jim.”
“Bye Shelly.” He called after her as she walked away. He cleared his throat and said, “So, Gaila…Mind giving me and Sulu a moment?”
“Sure.” Gaila said, her voice was broken and choppy. She gave Sulu a dirty look as she waltzed out.
“Why the fuck did you do that?” Sulu said angrily once Gaila had left. “Why did you hurt her like that?!”
Jim ignored this question and turned to the mirror and fixed his hair and said, “See, told you it’d be worth coming for.”
“You fucking do that on purpose?!”
“Go get her.” Jim said simply.
“Excuse me?”
“Go after her.” Jim repeated.
“But she’s your girlfriend!” Sulu protested.
“Who you love.” Jim pointed out. “So go get her.”
“That’s totally and completely fucked up. Why did you do that?” Sulu asked.
“Just go get her.” Jim said. “Before she changes her mind.”
“What?!” Sulu asked. But Jim didn’t explain. So Sulu just shook his head and breathed, “Whatever.” And walked out and saw Gaila..
“Michelle is not a bimbo. And she would never fuck a horse.” He said to her.
“What ever !” Gaila rolled her eyes and ran into Jim’s room into his arms. And they began kissing fiercely.
--
Sulu walked outside. Michelle was having a smoke and crying deeply. He walked over to her. It was really raining and her hair was wet and matted to her face. Her eyeliner and mascara was smeared in little black splotches all over her cheeks.
“Michelle.” He said softly as he approached her. “I’m so sorry.”
“Fuck off.” She snapped.
He was taken aback instantly. “What?”
“You knew! You knew about her!” She accused, her voice had gone shrilly.
“No, I didn’t! I really didn’t!” Sulu insisted.
“How could you not know? You’re supposed to be my friend!”
“Michelle, you’re not making any sense. Please. Just-”
“No! Get away from me!” She yelled. And she walked away.
He could hear her heels clicking the pavement along with the splatter of the rain. He felt like he should go after her. Or give her a reason why Jim did what he did. But he honestly didn’t know what to say. Sometimes the things Jim did, Jim himself couldn’t even explain. Sulu sighed and shook his head and walked on home. It didn’t occur to him to look for Scott, but he realized Scotty could look out for himself.
--
He walked in and no one, of course, had noticed that he had even came in. He walked upstairs and opened his bedroom door. He looked up and saw Madeline sitting on his bed. Her ever present smiley was faded from her face. She was dead serious now.
“Madeline.” He breathed.
“Where were you?” She didn’t hesitate.
“Oh…I was just.” He motioned out of his door. “I was. Um. Out.”
“…Oh. With who?”
“Um. Michelle and Jim, and-”
“Michelle?” She said in disbelief.
“Yeah, look…Madeline. I’m sorry. It was a mistake, I’m sorry.” Sulu tried to say.
“Is it because…I look like this?” She motioned to her face.
“No!” Sulu said abruptly. Although, that had something to do with it. Very little. Maybe 4%. The other 96 was measured in how much she followed him.
He saw the tears well up in her big eyes. “I…I’ve been waiting for this for days.”
“I know.” He hung his head.
She got up and whispered, “It’s your choice.” And marched out and he heard her walk down the stairs.
--
“Michelle.” She heard the name escape from his lips before she could react. She felt him brush up against her skin, and tiny goose bumps erupted from her skin. And the chills ran up her spine before she could even contemplate it. “I’ve been silly.”
She turned around and took a sip of her drink. It was a lonely night at the bar. Almost no one was there. Except for a few people sitting at one of the tables laughing and playing a card game. She stared at him plainly and he stared back.
“Go on.” She urged.
“It was a mistake. I’m sorry. She pulled me in.”
Michelle put down her drink and as hip hop song came on with a slow, steady beat. “Ooh, I like this one!” She exclaimed. She got up and began to dance slowly. Rocking her hips back and forth and raising her arms above her head.
Jim came over and put his arms around her waist and she lowered her arms to his shoulders. They stared into each other’s eyes as they danced for a few moments. “I’m sorry.” the words tumbled out of Jim’s lips. And she reached forward and kissed him slowly.
They didn’t even notice Hikaru Sulu standing in the corner. His face twisted into jealousy. He was on the verge of emotional collapse.

The Final Frontier--Iowa [2/2]

Lisa was awkward, and Jim was even more depressed by the end of that evening. Michelle stayed downstairs with Winona watching the news, while Jim claimed he was too tired to stay awake much longer. It was around 11:30 and Winona claimed being tired as well and went up the stairs. 5 minutes later, Michelle turned off the t.v. and went upstairs as well. She opened Jim’s bedroom door. He was sprawled across the bed on his back.
He looked pensive as he stared up at the ceiling with a blank expression. He stirred as she moved closer , and she realized he was awake.
“How are you doing?” Michelle asked cautiously.
“I’m sad.” Jim said, and he paused for a moment. “But I’ll be okay.”
Michelle pushed him up and hugged him close to her. “Jim, she’s upset, too. She cares for you, I know she does. It’s hard on anyone. She misses your Dad. That was the only man she ever loved in her life. Ever.”
“Fuck, I know.” Jim sighed. “I’m a bad kid.”
“No, I’d probably be the same way.” Michelle admitted.
“What…Selfish?” Jim asked harshly.
“You’re not selfish.” Michelle assured him.
“No, you’re right. I’m not. He is.” Jim said darkly.
“Who is?”
“That fucker.” Jim sniffed. “My dad. He gave up on me.”
“He died, Jim.” Michelle said, shocked. “For God’s sakes. He did what he had to do. He was trying to give you a better life.”
“Oh, so you think this is a better life? You think I want this. To be here with her. In this hellhole in Iowa. For fuck’s sakes, we could have had it all. A big life. A big house, nice cars. I wouldn’t have to do this shit. Ever. That fucker. I hate him. I freaking hate him.” Jim’s voice was rising and he angrily knocked over a c.d. stand and Michelle cried out. “THAT FUCKER! HE LEFT ME! HE NEVER LOVED ME! ALL HE CARED ABOUT WAS HIMSELF; AND HIS FUCKING CREW! DID HE EVEN KNOW THEM? I WAS HIS SON, DAMMIT!”
“Jim. Jim please calm down.” Michelle said, on the verge of tears. One fell down her cheek. “Please, stop.”
“I hate him!” Jim roared over and over. Knocking things over. Michelle was worried his Mom would come in. Surely she heard him. He was screaming. But she never did. And in that instant, Michelle understood. Eventually, Jim did calm down. He broke down into huge sobs. And collapsed on the bed next to Michelle.
Michelle rubbed his back and kissed him gently. She coaxed him to bed, and he cuddled her into him, and sighed a soft, “I’m sorry” Michelle wasn’t bothered by Jim. She knew he was hurt. He had a rough life. No one bothered to take him seriously, or love him like he wanted to be loved. Michelle understood. Michelle loved him.
--
Jim woke up the next morning, his legs entangled in Michelle’s. He sighed, and rolled out of bed gently, Michelle moved a little but she didn’t awake. He pulled on a shirt, but remained in his boxers. At some point in the night, he and Michelle had awoken. And touched each other lightly. He thrust his fingers inside Michelle, and welled with satisfaction with she came, and made quiet moaning noise and called his name.
He walked downstairs and saw his Mom at the table. She was smoking a cigarette and had her hair in a bun. Her wavy whips of hair falling from it. God, she looked glorious. Even in her disheveled state. She was sad and tragic looking, but you couldn’t look away. Not even if you wanted to. She regaled you, and kept you coming back for more. Jim walked into the kitchen, and sat down across from her. He looked at her, and she stared back. It stayed like that for a minute. Then, without a word, she took out a crumpled piece of paper from her robe pocket.
It said: Emily
465-9876
Jim took it and nodded his thanks. He walked into the parlor and picked up the telephone. He heard his Mom walk up the stairs He picked up the phone and dialed the number carefully. His chest tightened when he heard the ring.
--
“Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Give it to me you little slut. Mm, yes. God, you know-Oh. Oh. OH.” He was disgusting. Vile, and cruel. He had a scruffy beard, and it felt awful when he went down on her. His tongue snaking in and out of her. She felt disgusting to be with him. “Here you go, Em.” He handed her a 20 dollar bill.
She said nothing and she got up and pulled her panties on. That’s when the phone rang. She picked up a cigarette and took a puff. Smoke curled from her mouth. She padded down the stairs and sat at the bottom one and flicked open the phone.
“What’s up?” She said in a low monotone.
“Emily.” Jim breathed.
“Who is this?” Emily asked, her eyebrow raised. He sounded familiar.
“It’s Jim.”
She sucked in her breath, “What do you want?” She sounded so mean.
“How are you?” Jim asked nervously.
“Why do you care?”
“Emily. I do care. I love you. I…I had to go. My life is so much better now. I want to know how you’re doing. When did Bill and my Mom break up?”
“About 2 weeks after you left.” Emily said.
“Wow, really?”
“Mhm.” She took another puff on her cigarette. “Anyway, he’s gone. So, if your Mom wants to speak to him or something. Tell her I don’t know where he is.”
“What? He just left you. Well, aren’t you in school or something. Isn’t he paying or-”
“I’m paying for myself.” Jim’s heart sank when he heard this. “And I dropped out.”
“Emily, whatever way you’re earning money…It’s not the right way. Look, I’ll lend you some money. Okay?”
“No. Not okay. You don’t have any money either. Do you even have a job?”
“Well…No. But, my Mom she’ll-”
“Oh, like she gives a fuck about me!” Emily said sharply. “Jim, don’t call me again. You fucked up. Everyone fucked up. I’m 18. I can do what I want.”
And with that, she hung up. How could Sarah and Bill abandon her like that? She was all alone. Making money doing God knows what. He hung up the phone, and walked upstairs. Emily’s harsh words ringing in his ears. She seemed so pissed. He didn’t blame her, though. But that wasn’t the Emily he knew. Or did he really ever know her? She never spoke.
He walked into his Mom’s room. She was laying on her bed watching t.v.
“I just talked to Emily.” Jim said. His mom looked up and nodded. “And, Bill left her.”
“He did?” Winona asked, her eyes grew wide.
“You abandoned her.”
“Jim. She’s not my child. She’s not my responsibility!”
“Whatever! Mom, you have to go and get her. She could be a prostitute or selling drugs!” Jim said angrily.
“Jim. She’s an adult. I can’t do anything. And I have enough problems as it is.” Winona said.
“Oh yeah? Like what?” Jim asked bitterly.
She raised up her shirt and revealed a bump. Jim felt like he’d been punched in the gut. “Wha-Who’s is it?”
“Bill’s.” She replied.
“I…When did this happen.”
“I’m not sure. It’s due in March, and it’s a girl.” She said, and she looked down at her belly.
“A girl.” Jim repeated.
“I’m sorry, Jim. I meant to tell you. I just didn’t know you were coming home.” She started to sit up. “I really am sorry.”
He walked forward and put a hand on her stomach. “What are you going to do?”
“I can’t raise a baby.” She said sadly. Jim kissed her on the forehead. “I can’t have an abortion. I have to give it up. I made plans with a nice couple in downtown Des Moines. And everything will work out. I’ve decided I want her name to be Julia.”
“Julia.” Jim said softly. “Mom, you can’t name her. That’s her parents’ choice.”
“They said they’d name her Julia.” She said.
“Why Julia?” Jim asked.
“That was supposed to be your name if you were a girl.” Jim expected they would chuckle, or grin at this. But she didn’t so he didn’t dare. “You’re father was dead set on it. We thought you’d be a girl. It was so easy, we had pink in the nursery at home.” She had tears in her eyes. “I would have laughed, if the situation wouldn’t have been so…crap.” She brushed a tear away that had fallen. “That you were a girl. But, it wasn’t. And he decided to name him after my dad, Jim. Because Tiberius…Was the worst thing to name a baby. According to him.”
Jim sat down and held her hand, “Will you tell me about it?”
“About what?” She asked sullenly, looking at him.
“All of it. How I was born, all of it..” Jim persisted.
“Sure.” She smiled faintly. And then began her story.
--
What a horrible situation she was in. Winona Stevenson was so young, only 19. It had been horrifying to reveal to her mom that she was pregnant. George was 23, and had a good head on his shoulders. But of course, he was a free spirit. He was a drinker when they’d first gotten together. A little wild; and crazy popular. The guy of every girl’s dream. She was lucky to have him.
She remembered that night that they had first had sex. She stood there, horribly scared. She was just 18, fragile and young. George sat in the chair, his arms held out. Winona gasped lightly. She was only in her t-shirt and panties. She sucked in her breath and slowly pulled down her panties, and they collapsed at her feet. George’s mouth curled a little. And he held out his arms a bit further.
Winona stepped out of her panties. And held her head down. She looked up, and expected he was grinning at her. She loved him when he smiled. He was so handsome. But his face was dead serious. He wanted this as badly as she did. He wasn’t a virgin like she. Winona was from such a conservative family in Iowa. It was only typical. She breathed out and walked forward. George didn’t say anything. She sat down on his lap. He was naked, and she put her hands on his chest. She slowly spread out her legs, and sank down. She gasped, and her eyes widened. George breathed out. Tears flooded her eyes. Jim held her back, and looked at her. She whispered, “It’s okay.”
They were walking down the dusty lane in the summer; it was before he got recruited to Star Fleet. With the baby due in late November, and it was August already. She was beginning to show. 3 more months. She hadn’t told her mom. She hadn’t told George. He’d been too busy for her anyway. There was touching, there were letters. Lots of “What are you wearing?”s and “I want you so bad, babe.”s. But Winona bumped into him, and he grinned and snaked his hand into hers.
“I’ll miss you while I’m gone.” George said.
“I have a surprise.” Winona said.
“What’s that?” George asked coyly.
“It’s…I’m enlisting in Star Fleet. Or, actually, I already did. And I might be able to be on the same ship as you.” Winona said excitedly.
George stopped, and looked at her. His voice deep with concern, “Winona. You could get killed.”
She took his face in her hands, “Georgie, I’ll be fine. I love you. And…I’ll be safe. I promise. This is a big deal for me.”
George nodded, and kissed her lightly. “Yeah, I know… I worry about you, though.”
Winona laughed and they kept walking, “Why?”
“You’re small, you’re cute, and everyone likes you. Your family’s like…The fucking Midwestern dream. Some guy, some pretty boy. He’s gonna come and snatch you away from me. I know it.”
Winona laughed loudly, “Oh, George! You make me laugh!” He grinned. “You are one of those pretty boys.”
“Ohhh, please don’t say that.” He begged.
“It’s true.” Winona said. They walked for a few seconds in silence. “I have something to tell you.”
“Sure, what is it?”
“Remember when we had sex.” Winona asked anxiously.
They walked a few more steps, and George stopped. “What?”
“I…I took a test.”
“I wore a condom!”
“I took a test.” Winona said again, her voice cracking, not sure what else to say but that. She felt tears come to her eyes.
“You’re pregnant?” George asked nervously.
Winona let out a mangled cry. George walked forward immediately and held her. Smoothing her hair away from her face. Rocking her back and forth. Hands around her belly.
--
“Wow, it’s so small.” George said, smiling, looking at the Ultra sound. Medical Bay on the U.S.S Kelvin was the perfect spot for this. No one could come in and say anything. Give judgmental looks. And whisper awful things to each other. In that month, so much had happened. They’d gotten married in a small ceremony, Winona was gorgeous in her little white dress. George beaming proudly.
“Do you want the sex?” The woman asked.
“Yes please.” Winona said in a small voice. The woman laughed, and George chuckled and squeezed her hand tightly. She looked over at him and smiled back.
“It’s a girl.” The woman said. “And I’d say you’re about 29 weeks, Winona.”
“She’s….Beautiful.” Winona said admiring her baby. Looking over at George. He had tears in his eyes, and it brought tears to hers.
--
“Julia.” George said a month later.”
“What?” Winona asked, she was in her bedroom quarters that she shared with George. She was lying on the bed, surveying her Glamour magazine.
“Julia.” George said. “The name for the baby.”
“Why Julia?” Winona asked.
“It’s just…A beautiful name. And it makes me feel good inside to say it.” George said simply. “Julia.”
“Sounds nice.” She said skeptically.
George leaned over and kissed her. “You’ll like it, eventually, you’ll see.”
--
This wasn’t as pleasant as the others. Being pushed in a wheel chair as fast as they could go. Tricorder gripped in hand. Screaming, people around her falling off railings. Things exploded, burning metal in her nostrils. George talking to her, telling her to get to her pod.
“You’ll be fine.” He assured, though he sounded frantic. “You and Julia, you’ll be fine.”
Winona looked around, scared for her life. Eventually, they did make it to the pod. They helped her onto her bed. And she spread her legs. “You’re 5 centimeters dilated.” Someone said, her eyes were buggy. This is all Winona remembered. “You have to push soon. This is going by awfully fast.”
All of the sudden the pod began to take off. Winona’s eyes widened, “No! No! You can’t leave yet! George…He has to come. He needs to be here. Wait.”
“Honey.” Came George’s voice from the tricorder. “Listen, I need you to stay where you are. I’m not gonna make it.”
Winona began to cry softly, “But…George you need to be here. It’s your baby. Julia.”
“I’m sorry, if I don’t do this none of the other pods will make it!” George said, he was yelling over the explosions. “I need you to be brave for me, okay?”
“I need you to push now.” The buggy eyed woman said suddenly.
Winona pushed down with all she had. Screaming and crying, her face twisting in agony. It was the worst pain she’d ever felt in her entire life. But it was all worth it when she heard that little cry. She was in awe when she saw them lift the baby over to her. She saw, that it was clearly not a boy. She let out a little laugh, and they handed the baby to her. And it cried in her arms softly.
“Wh…What is it?” George asked. Not sure what else to say. Tears in his eyes. 50 seconds left. Auto-pilot off. Collision course set.
“It’s…a boy.” Winona said, rubbing it’s head gently.
“Wow.” Was all George could say. “What are we gonna name it?”
“We could name him after your father.” Winona suggested.
“What? Tiberius!? Are you joking, no! That’s the worst. Let’s name him after your Dad. Let‘s call him Jim” George said chuckling. Jim coming off his tongue as easy as Julia.
“Jim,” Winona said, looking down at her little boy. “Okay. Jim it is.”
“Honey, I love you.” George said suddenly, and Winona looked up frantically and could see out the window. His ship heading for the Romulans’s. “I love you so much.”
“George.” She said quickly.
“I love you so much. I love you-” Then she heard an explosion, and looked outside and saw his ship exploding into pieces. How could this happen. How could she leave him like that. She began to cry, and held her baby close.
“It’s just us, baby.” She said to Jim, crying softly. She sobbed into it’s tiny little face, stroking it gently.
--
She finished, tears falling down her cheeks. Jim’s own eyes were filled with tears. “I have to leave.” Jim said quickly.
She stroked his cheek. “Okay.”
“I…Thanks, mom.” He said, he wanted to say he loved her. He really did. But what more was there to say. He couldn’t work up the courage.
“You’re welcome.”
--
He walked into the bathroom, the shower was running and it was steamy. Jim sighed deeply, and tears fell from his eyes. A sob escaped and the curtain pulled back. Michelle’s wide eyes appeared. Her blonde hair now brown from the water, matted to her face. “Jim?”
She stepped out and pulled on her towel and Jim collapsed into her arms, not minding that he was getting wet. He sobbed into her shoulder. She told him it was okay. That she loved him. “I love you, baby. It’s okay. It’s okay.”
“She’s pregnant!” Jim managed to escape.
“What?”
“Yeah. A little girl. Julia.” Jim gasped. “Julia.”
“What…Who?”
“Bill. She’s gonna give it away. But I can’t do this, Chelle. No, I can’t.” He cried.
“I know. Let’s go home.” She said this to him softly, and helped him up gently, and they wobbled down the stairs.
Trying to be quiet. But Winona sensed them leaving. She knew he was leaving her, probably for good. She curled up in her bed, cuddling her stomach. “It’s just us, baby,” she said full of nostalgia to her little Julia.

The Final Frontier--Iowa [1/2]

The car started, and Michelle pulled out of the parking lot. Worrying about Uhura, honestly hoping that she would be okay, and that she wouldn’t do anything too extreme. She could understand though, it would be awfully embarrassing. Especially with someone like Spock. So proper and distinguished. She could easily see how awful it would have been to endure that with him. Well, with anyone. She knew Nyota was setting herself up for failure. And maybe that’s what she was doing with Jim; and Nyota knew it too? But she didn’t try and fight Spock and Uhura being together. And it never had occurred to Michelle to ask why Nyota hadn’t really liked Jim. She wanted to reestablish more on this. I mean, she had said she didn’t want to lose Michelle as he friend. But there definitely had to be more.
“You know,” Jim said suddenly. “I don’t get why we’re driving. I mean, it’s gonna take forever.”
“What, you don’t think I know that?” Michelle grinned.
“So, why didn’t we fly or something, take a shuttle out. I know one was stopping in Detroit, Michigan. To pick up some recruits from training. Or, there’s a thing called a train.” Jim said. Getting a bit impatient with her.
“Jim, just relax.” Michelle smiled. “We’ll get there soon enough.”
“How soon is ‘soon enough’?” Jim asked.
“Oh, shut up! You didn’t even want to go to Iowa anyway!” Michelle laughed.
“…Whatever,” Jim said, shaking his head.
“Okay, whiner. I was going to wait to show you. But I guess I’ll do it now!” Michelle said, exasperated.
“What?” Jim asked, suddenly looking over at her.
She pressed a green button and all of the sudden the car began to pick up its speed, and wings started to jut out of the sides. And the car began to lightly pick up off the ground.
“What the hell..” Jim said, looking around.
Michelle smirked, “You don’t give me enough credit.”
Jim leaned over and kissed her, “Nope, I guess I don’t.”
“We’ll get there in no time.” Michelle said.
35 minutes later and Jim was switching back and forth between radio stations.
“For God’s sakes!” Michelle yelled. “Pick a station!”
“I’m sorry. There’s nothing good on.” Jim protested.
“Turn it off, then.” Michelle growled.
“Are you okay?” Jim asked, flicking off the radio. Looking over at her, studying her face.
Michelle sighed and said, “I’m sorry. I’m just worried about Nyota. She was really upset.”
“Why was she so upset?” Jim asked.
Michelle tossed him a look and he said, “What? I promise, I won’t tell anyone!”
“Okay, well, she um…” Michelle trailed off. Looking at the Cumulous Cloud to her left. “It was…something with Spock.”
“I gathered that. I just want to know what’s wrong. Nyota’s kind of my friend, too.” Jim persisted.
Michelle laughed, “Not really. But, okay.” She broke off and said. “She wants to have sex with Spock.”
“Yeah, what does that have to do with anything?” Jim asked.
“He couldn’t do it.” Michelle said. “And now she doesn’t think he likes her.”
“Why couldn’t he?” Jim asked. He thought for a moment then said, “Oh.”
“No!” Michelle said, annoyed. “Not that. Pon Farr.”
“What’s that?” Jim asked.
“Um, how do you not know what Pon Farr is?”
“I just don’t!” Jim retorted.
“It’s the mating ritual that takes place every seven years for Vulcans.” Michelle explained.
“Oh. But. Don’t they have partners or something. So even when the time comes-”
“He and Nyota won’t be able to have sex, anyway.” Michelle finished.
“God, that’s awful.” Jim said.
“Yeah, she’s really upset. I just hope it gets better. That’s why she shouldn’t be with a guy like Spock.” Michelle said.
“Because he can’t love her.” Jim said.
“No, he can. He just…Doesn’t know how to show it. And I don’t think she can handle that. She needs to hear it. It needs to be shown, expressed. Isn’t it nice to have it that way?” Michelle said thoughtfully.
“Yeah…Yeah,” Jim said nonchalantly.
----

They pulled into the driveway of his Mom’s place. It was bitter and cold that December afternoon. So much colder than San Francisco, obviously. It was a quaint farmhouse, with a large barn in the backyard. The ground covered in a thin coat of snow. Michelle got out of the car, and got their bags out of the backseat.
“It’s a nice place.” She observed.
Jim snorted, “Hardly. But she looks like she’s kept it up, though.”
“Does she know who I am?” Michelle asked anxiously as they approached the door.
“Of course.” Jim said. He wrapped his spare arm around her. “Don’t worry. She’ll like you. Who wouldn’t.” He kissed her temple, and reached out and rang the doorbell.
“Why don’t you just go in?”
“Oh, she’d probably get mad at me. Plus, you can’t just barge in after disappearing for 5 months.” Jim explained.
All of the sudden, the door flung open and a woman with large eyes and thin blond hair opened the door. Her eyes were a light gray color, in contrast to Jim’s light blue ones. She was once, as you could plainly see, gorgeous. You could tell, she could have easily become a model. She looked permanently sad. And Michelle wanted to hug her at first sight. She wore a thick wool sweater, and looked a little on the large side, although her frame was tiny.
“Hi mom.” Was all Jim said.
“Oh, Jim!” She smiled wide. “How are you?” She reached around and hugged him. And she said, “You look so grown up.”
“I guess…” Jim said.
“Well, it certainly has been a while!” She said, she seemed so energetic. And it didn’t really suit her. Because she didn’t quite appear that way. “How have you been? Come in!”
“I’ve been okay.” Jim said. He stepped inside with Michelle and they sat their bags down. “Um, Mom, this is Michelle.”
Winona looked around and found Michelle and exclaimed, “Oh! Wow. Jim, she’s a jewel.”
Michelle laughed, “Jeez, thanks.”
“Really.” Winona insisted. She stuck out her hand, and Michelle obliged. “You’re so lovely. I’ve heard quite a bit about you.”
“What have you heard?” Jim asked suspiciously.
Winona raised an eyebrow, “Why, from your letters.”
“Um…”
“So, look, I’d love to get caught up but I have a roast in the oven. And I really need to get dinner ready. So, we’ll get caught up later?” She said this more to Michelle than Jim.
“Oh, yeah, that’s fine.” Michelle said.
“Great. Jim, why don’t you take Michelle up to your room?” She said this in a worried tone.
“Uh. Sure.” Jim said. Michelle was about to go up the stairs when Jim said quietly, “Mom, where’s Emily and Bill?”
“Don’t worry about it.” She said gently.
“Mom. Where are they?” He said a bit more forcefully.
“They’re gone.”
“Gone?!”
“Don’t worry about this now, Jim, it’s none of our business. Okay? Just take your girlfriend upstairs. We’ll discuss it later.” Winona said harshly. And then walked into the kitchen.
“Fine.” Jim said bitterly. He stood there for a minute. Taking it all in. Gone? How could they possibly be gone?
Michelle appeared at his side and wrapped her arms around him, “Are you okay?”
“No..” Jim said off handedly.
“God, I’m sorry.” Michelle said. She kissed him softly then said, “You know…Your mom seems nice.”
“I never wrote her any letters.” Jim said.
“She lied?” Michelle asked, suddenly confused.
“What do you think? That’s all she ever does to maker herself seem like a good mom. But it’ll all bullshit. She could care less.” He walked over to the table in the room, and noticed the row of pictures of Jim. Terrible school photos, the brace face years, naked in a bath tub. His years in t-ball. Him at prom with his girlfriend at the time, Samantha. He ran a finger a long one of them. He rubbed his thumb and fore finger together and said, “Wow, look at that. Dusty.”
“I’m sure she just forgot.” Michelle said.
“She’s an avid duster. She prides herself on dusting. Are you kidding? You wanna know what picture should be there?” Jim asked. He reached behind the frame, and took out his picture, and handed the frame to Michelle. There, was a picture of Jim’s father. Bleach white smile, thick, luscious blond hair. So good looking.
“Oh…” Michelle said faintly. “It’s your Dad.”
“Yeah. But it doesn’t matter.” Jim said shaking his head. He took the frame out of Michelle’s hands and set it back down. “Let’s go upstairs.”
--
Jim’s room was the same as it was when he’d left. He found his bloody gray shirt from the bar fight lying on the floor. Along with his discarded baggy jeans and leather jacket. He looked at the posters on the wall; collected from over the years. And sighed loudly, “So. Here it is. The same as when I left it.”
Michelle looked down at his bloody shirt and said, “Jim, I’m sure she’s just been busy.”
“Where? On her back?” Jim snapped.
Michelle looked defeated, “I don’t know what you want me to say…Look, I’m sure she’s just been busy with everything. I mean, after all Emily and Bill did leave. Maybe she’s been depressed.”
“This was 5 months ago. And my mom loves to clean.” Jim said plainly.
“I’m sure it was-”
“Michelle! Look, she doesn’t give a fuck about me, okay? There’s no way to avoid it. All she cares about is my fucking dad. My fucking, loser of a Dad. Okay? That’s all she ever talks about. She doesn’t love me or care about me! And I’m sick of being left behind on everything. It’s always me that’s the last to know. I hate her.” He said his last words sharply.
Michelle walked over and hugged him. “I’m sorry. I…We can leave. If you want.”
“No. That’s what she’ll want. I didn’t write her any letters, Chelle. She knows nothing about or of you.” Jim said, putting his face in his hands. “I hate this..”
“Seriously, let’s leave. We can go anywhere!” Michelle said. “We have a flying car!”
“NO! I have to find out what happened to Emily!” Jim said forcefully.
“That’s sweet that you care about her like that.” Michelle said faintly.
Jim smiled at her, and walked over. And crouched down and said, “Michelle, I love you. Thanks for coming with me.”
She grinned and stroked his cheek, “Are you kidding? I would do anything for you.”
He leaned in and kissed her and they shared a passionate kiss. He reached behind her and began to put his hands up her shirt, they were warm and Michelle groaned and broke away and said,” Should we really be doing this here?”
“Does it really matter?” Jim smirked.
“Your mom’s here!” Michelle said playfully.
“Let here hear, then.” Jim said.
He unhooked her bra, and took off her shirt and crawled over her on the bed. He slowly took her bra off, teasing her as he went. He licked down her shoulders to her breasts. He took her nipple in his mouth, and swirled his tongue over it, over and over again. She gasped lightly, and ran her fingers through his hair. He came down on her stomach and began to kiss her lightly and she giggled. He slowly began to unbutton her jeans. She felt agonizing pain almost, he was being so damn slow. She needed to feel something. He began to slowly ease down her jeans. And played with her through her panties. Slowly kissing her thighs.
Michelle leaned up and quietly called his name. He looked back up at her. She reached down and brought him up to her level and kissed him deeply. She reached down and took off his shirt for him. And began to kiss his neck. “I love you.” She heard him whisper.
“I love you.” Michelle said back. Looking into his clear blue eyes. It was like looking up at the clear afternoon skies in San Francisco. Nice, and sunny. Jim always made her think of sunshine.
Jim kissed Michelle down her stomach again, and she lay there in agonizing anticipation, and he took off her panties. She suddenly felt a tongue on her clit. Sucking lightly, making her moan. He probed her pussy with his mouth, and she suddenly felt like her sense of touch was heightened. It felt so pleasurable and unforgettable. All of it, with Jim…

--
They came downstairs about an hour later. Jim’s hair was frizzy, and Michelle’s jeans were buttoned wrong. Her hair was messed up, and she looked like a tornado had blown through her. “Okay, look,” Jim said to her quietly. “If my Mom asks any questions, give her a short answer. Don’t elaborate, just nod your head. That’s all she’ll do for you so it’s only fair.”
“No!” Michelle hissed. “That’s so rude, Jim. Maybe the reason you never get along is because you treat her like shit!”
“It’s the other way around!” Jim said a little too loudly.
“Right, so dinner’s ready.” Winona uttered pleasantly, as she suddenly appeared around the banister. She stopped and look at their disheveled state and her eyes widened a bit. And Jim looked smug and pleased with himself. She lead them into the kitchen. “I hope you don’t mind, Jim, but Aunt Lisa is coming over.”
“What?” Jim asked, extremely confused. His mother and her sister hated one another. It was a wonder that she was coming over, seeing as they hardly ever talked in 7 months. Last time he’d left, they were far from making up.
“Wh-Who’s Aunt Lisa?” Michelle asked.
“Oh, she’s my sister dear. Go on, take a seat.” Winona said warmly. Nodding at the chair next to Jim, across from her.
“Right.” Michelle nodded. She sat down
Jim proceeded to say, “Um, when did you and Aunt Lisa make up?”
“Michelle, how did you get started in Star Fleet?” Winona asked, completely dodging the question.
Jim exchanged looks with Michelle and tossed his mother a filthy look. Michelle cleared her throat and said, “ I just needed to get away from home for a little while. And I’m very fascinated in what Star Fleet has to offer for me.” Jim gave her a mean look, and picked at his peas.
“Oh. Well, that’s interesting. Do you and Jim have lot of classes together?” She asked.
“Yup.” Jim said through a mouthful of mashed potatoes.
“What are you majoring in, Jim?”
“I don’t know.” Jim said. He then took a sip of his iced tea and looked at her.
She mouthed the word oh and then said, “How long have you and Michelle been together?”
“5 months. Or something.” Jim responded nonchalantly.
“How’s school going for the both of you?” She asked, but before Michelle could answer Jim did. Lacking so many details and, although there weren’t many, it felt like no one should say anything. Michelle hated silence at dinners. That should be the time when you should talk the most. She was genuinely confused at Jim’s relationship with his mother. It was pretty odd.
“Good.” Jim said. He took a bite of his chicken and looked at her. She stared plainly back at him, clearly upset by the way Jim was treating her.
“I…I’m going to call your Aunt Lisa. She’s running late. I’ll be right back. Sorry, Michelle.” Winona said nervously, and she got up and scurried into the other room.
“You are horrible!” Michelle said , horrified.
“What?” Jim asked, clearly unscathed at what had just occurred.
“You are such a little shit! All your mom wanted was to bond with you! Get to know you. And you were just so disrespectful!” Michelle said angrily.
“Look, you don’t get it, and you probably never will. My mom doesn’t care about me. All she ever says is ‘Oh’ and ‘good’ all the time. She doesn’t give a fuck about me!” Jim protested. “You don’t know what my life was like here. I had to leave.”
“All I know, is I see a mother trying to reconnect with her son! And the son is being a complete asshole! She does love and care for you! You’re her only child! She cares for you, Jim!” Michelle said shrilly.
“How would you know.” Jim spat at her.
Michelle about slapped him across the face. “Fuck you.” She said sharply. And then Winona walked in the room.
“She’s on her way.” Winona sighed, sitting down at her seat.
“That’s good.” Jim said.
“So, Michelle, where are you from originally?” Winona asked.
“Oh, I’m from Indiana.” Michelle smiled at her. “From a small rural town.”
“Hah, I guess Iowa and Indiana are similar?”
“Somewhat. It’s very quaint and tiny here.” Michelle perceived.
“Ah, nothing interesting happens. Trust me on that. It’s the same old thing over and over.” Winona sighed.
“God, it’s the same for me too!” Michelle agreed.
Then there was a sudden knock at the door. “Oh, I didn’t know she was that close!” Winona exclaimed. And she threw down her napkin and went to the door.
“Chelle, I’m sorry. Look, it’s complicated between me and my mom.” Jim said.
“Yeah, how would I know, right?” Michelle said coolly.
“Michelle! I’m sorry.” Jim said, surprised her reaction was this strong. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I was pissed, okay?”
“Well, now I am.” Michelle said bitterly. “Fuck you, Jim. Just…Fuck you.”
“Oh. My. God.” Came a big, booming Southern voice. “Is that little Jimmy?”
“Ah…Aunt Lisa.” Jim said with false happiness.
“Jimmy! You’re so grown up! My God, you’re the spitting image of George! And this must be your little girlfriend!” A woman said walking around. She had long red fingernails, and was a little on the large side. She looked a lot like Winona. She wore a thin amount of makeup-but she didn’t need it. She was garbed in a red dress, and looked like she belonged in the 1800s. Her hair was a light brown, and was in soft curls at her shoulders.
“Hi.” Michelle smiled up at her.
“Oh, hello darlin’!” Lisa beamed. She shook hands with Michelle and said, “We meet at last! God, I haven’t heard from anyone in so long. Why, last time I saw Jimmy he was just graduatin’ high school!”
“Um, wow, that is a long time.” Michelle said awkwardly.
“Well, at any rate, I’m glad I have my sister back.” Lisa beamed at Winona, and Winona gave her a faint smile.
“So, um. How are Joe and Rose?” Jim asked.
“Oh, they’re just fine! Rose just passed her drivin’ exam! And Joe just got into high school. They’re always askin’ about you, Jim. Since they found out that you got into Star Fleet.” Lisa said proudly.
“Wow, really?” Jim said, raising his eyebrows. “That’s cool.”
“Yeah, yeah it is.”
“So…Lisa. I heard you brought jello? Maybe we ought to go get it?” Winona suggested.
“Oh, yes. Jimmy likes my jello, don’t you Jimmy?” Lisa cooed.
“It’s Jim now, Aunt Lisa.” Jim said uneasily.
“That’s right! Aren’t you 23 now? Somethin’ like that?” Lisa laughed.
“Yeah. Something like that.” Jim said, taking a sip of his iced tea.
“Big, tough man. Huh, Jim?” Lisa asked in a teasing manner.
“Sure,” Jim said in a sort of annoyed tone.
“Alright, let’s go.” Winona said, and she and her sister shuffled on out.
“Michelle.” Jim said softly. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “I love you.”
“Why would you say that?” Michelle said, on the verge of tears.
“I don’t know. Because I was pissed. And I took it out on you, and that was wrong.” Jim explained himself. “I feel bad, now. But my Mom. She’s…Not right. She’s got problems, Chelle.”
“She loves you. Somewhere deep down in that little black heart, she loves you.” Michelle said simply.
“Yeah, somewhere.” Jim said distantly.
Michelle reached over and took his hand. “It’ll be okay.” She rubbed her thumb over his hand. “It’ll all be okay.”

The Final Frontier--Uhura(1/1)

--Episode 3. Uhura--
Two months later.
Class was stressful. Even for Nyota Uhura. Who focused on her studies. She wouldn’t have it any other way. She spent all of Mr. Scott’s class, rather than learning about nebulas, passing notes to Spock. About…Nebulas. She watched as Michelle stroked Jim’s thigh underneath the desk. And how she would give him a little grin every now and then. She also noticed how he had his hand up Michelle’s skirt. He would rub her softly; she would gasp.
She was jealous. She was seething, and she wanted more. She wanted so much more from Spock than what she was getting.. She ripped off another piece of paper from Spock’s notebook and wrote in neat and tiny scroll: Do you and Jim have to do that?
She passed the note to Michelle. Michelle took her free hand and wrote back: What? Jim loves me. And I love him. What is your problem?
My problem is your practically having sex with your boyfriend in the middle of class.
“Just a moment.” Michelle whispered to Jim and took her hand away and turned to Nyota and hissed,” What the fuck is your god damned problem?”
“Michelle. Shh.” Nyota whispered back, annoyed.
“No, I want to know. Jim and I love each other. We are just the same as you and Spock-”
“You are not!” Nyota hissed back.
“Ladies, do you have a problem up there?” Mr. Scott asked, turning away from the board. Everyone looked back at all four of them. Spock looked at Nyota then over at Jim. Jim simply shrugged.
Nyota started to say no, but Michelle insisted, “Um. Yeah, actually there is.”
“Well, why don’t ye settle it out in the hallway rather than in the middle of class,” Mr. Scott suggested.
“Yeah, thanks,” Michelle gravely. And she stood up and walked out of class, Nyota reluctantly following.
She came out and glared at Michelle, “What was that?”
“Look, I am sick and tired of you always judging me and Jim. Always. We love each other. And it’s not just sex, either. We do care about one another. We’re just trying to have a little fun. Instead of passing notes about fucking nebulas.”
Nyota just shook her head in disgust, “I’m missing a lesson.”
“I don’t give a fuck,” Michelle spat at her. Then she said, “Are you jealous of me?”
“What?” She’d just asked her the unthinkable.
“I said, are you jealous? You act like it. Do you like Jim?”
“Um, no. I have Spock. You can have Jim, I really don’t like him. I just think there are so many other guys you could be with.” Nyota said.
“Okay, well then, why are you acting like this. Just accept I’m dating Jim. And that I love him.” Michelle said.
“I…I don’t want to see you get hurt,” Nyota said finally.
“Well, that’s sweet.” But Nyota couldn’t tell from her tone, whether Michelle meant it or not. “Don’t be mad at me. I love Jim, and there’s nothing anyone can do to change that.”
“I know,” Nyota said finally. She nodded her head.
“I’m still your best friend,” Michelle said with a grin.
And with that, Nyota began to cry. She wasn’t even sure why. This wasn’t even that sad. She looked and felt like an idiot. “Oh, come here,” Michelle cried. And she went over and hugged Nyota as tightly as she could. “I’m not going anywhere.”
-----
Really, she shouldn’t mind it. It happens all the time, she said to herself as she fumbled for the keys in her purse. She walked in yet again to find Jim on top of Michelle in just his underwear. Her, moaning and thrusting up at him. He reached a hand down into her panties. She giggled and groaned up at him. He kissed her neck down to her breast. It was actually kind of pathetic.
Uhura cleared her throat loudly, “Ahem!”
Jim looked up at her and sat up, “Do you really have to do that?”
“Yeah, really!” Michelle agreed.
Uhura shook her head, and began to get undressed, “Do what?” like it didn't even matter to her.
“Just…Barge in here on us. We’re busy.” Michelle snapped.
Nyota laughed, “So much for being busy. And I have as much right to be here as he does. Actually, more right. Why don’t you ever go to your place?”
“Because.” Was all Jim said.
“Because you just like getting on my nerves and annoying me?” Nyota asked, bending down and searching for her silk turquoise dress.
“No. Because McCoy always has some chick there.” Jim said pointedly.
“Is that really good for him?” Nyota asked, “I’ve been really worried about him lately.”
“He’ll be fine,” Michelle said, rolling her eyes.
“Well, I’m leaving anyway.” Nyota said. “So…Carry on.”
“Where are you going?” Michelle asked as Nyota as she put on her dress. She walked over and Michelle zipped up her dress for her.
“Coffee with Spock.” Nyota said.
She rushed out. Not really looking at anyone on the way out. It disgusted her how much sex Jim and Michelle had. Well, really, they hadn’t had much. It was she, that was having no luck in that department. Maybe she was jealous, she shook her head. She really wanted to ‘consummate’ their relationship. She wanted to show Spock she loved him. They’d held hands, and he’d given her a friendly hug. No kiss, no necking behind any stairwell. Her life was boring, and she knew it. She wanted to skip the coffee. She was early, anyway, and the dorm was all to itself. He would say something, though.
"This isn’t you, Nyota" She could already hear in her head. She stopped outside his dorm, it was a lovely day for November. Just as she was about to knock, she chickened out. She couldn’t do it. “Fuck,” She muttered. Just then, some guys walking by yelled, “DUDE, LOOK! THE VULCAN’S GOT A HOOKER!”
“WHERE?”
“RIGHT OUTSIDE HIS DOOR MAN, THE BLACK CHICK! LOOK!” Uhura was mortified. Weren’t these guys supposed to be mature. How in the hell did they even survive around here? Just then; as if some cosmic joke, the door opened.
“Nyota?” Spock cocked an eyebrow.
“Oh. Oh God,” Nyota said, and she pushed him inside the room and closed the door.
“Nyota, is something the matter? Do we have to call off our plans for coffee this afternoon?” He asked, so completely unaware.
Nyota said,” No…” absentmindedly. And loved how silly he could be with his concern and his care. He really did care for her. She turned and said, “I…Just wanted to see you.”
“I am, touched by your concern.” Spock said. Ordinarily, you would see a grin. But this was Spock. And his face stayed the same. No matter what he seemed to be doing or saying. “I hope this will not take too long. We are already violating codes of Star Fleet conduct by you merely being here.”
“I know, I know. I don’t know how to say this,” Nyota said hurriedly.
“Nyota, there is no need to avoid matters with me. Simply say what you need to say,” Spock urged.
Nyota nodded, “So I’m just gonna do it.”
“Do what?”
She leaned in and kissed him. Square on the lips. He gradually put his hands on her hips, and got into the kiss a little more. She wanted to take his hands; move them lower. Shed him of his clothes. Show him what he meant to her. But, was it too soon? It was Spock after all. She put her tongue against his lips, begging for entrance. He obliged her, and they just stood there. Kissing like that, for several seconds. The seconds turned to minutes. They felt the minutes would turn to hours-maybe days.
“N-Nyota.” Spock said breaking from the kiss. “What did you come for?”
“I’m... Not really sure,” Nyota breathed.
“This is not like you,” Spock concluded.
“No,” She stared into his eyes. “Spock, why don’t you…Why don’t you ever kiss me? Is it because you don’t like me?”
“Why, Nyota, what a silly thing to say.” Spock said. He sat her down on the bed beside him. “There is so much more to a relationship than sexual gratification and physical stimulate. I respect you, Nyota. I do care for you. You’re human, so it is only right that you have…Urges.”
“So, are you going to kiss me again or not?” Nyota asked with a playful tone.
Spock leaned in, and they shared on more kiss. She leaned over him, and lay him down gently on the bed. And the kiss became more forceful. And she unbuttoned his shirt. “Nyota,” He looked up at her.
“Please, don’t say no,” She pleaded.
“I…I can not do this.” Spock said, sitting back up.
“What…Why?” She was about to cry.
“Nyota, It is impossible..” He said. He looked embarrassed. Genuinely embarrassed. She could see a green flush in his cheeks.
“Oh.” She said. Then she came to realize what he was talking about, “OH! Oh God, if I would have known…”
“What are you inferring?” Spock asked.
“What are you?”
“Pon Farr.” He said.
“Oh.” She said again. Then she burst into giggles. Spock had a slight grin. A very slight grin. “I thought you had ED!”
“No. That was never the case.” Spock said.
“God…” Nyota said, when the laughing had subsided. “What are we going to do? Wait 7 years?”
“Well, that is the thing, Nyota. I cannot procreate. Not with you.” Spock said, struggling to find words.
“What…What do you mean?” She asked. Tears coming to her eyes with despair.
“I…Simply mean that-I have to procreate with my assigned mate. Her name is T’Pring.” Spock said.
“Where is she?” Nyota brought herself to ask.
“She is on Vulcan,” Spock retorted. “She is living there with my children.”
“Children?”
“I have two children.” Spock said. “They are rather young. One is, I believe, 7 year old. And the other is a newborn, almost 5 months old.”
“She made you leave?” Nyota asked, once again near tears.”
“She did not wish to be with me. I hardly ever see my children. I probably will not see my newborn until my next child is produced.” Spock said; it was sad to see how unfazed he was by all of this.
“I’m sorry. That’s terrible.” Nyota breathed. “I…It would be different with me.”
“Nyota,” He took her face in his hands. “I understand this. And, this would be a lot simpler with you, I concur. But there is simply nothing I can do about this. Surely you understand.”
“We can try,” She said in a light voice. She leaned in and kissed him once more.
And she began to kiss his neck. It was odd, as he just simply lay there. His breathing faster, then slower. Sometimes strained almost. She began to run her hands down his stomach. And she went back up and kissed him slowly and deeply. He sat up a little and she took off his shirt. She felt him reach around and unzip her dress. She tried not to grin; or moan. He ran his hands along her back and went deeper into the kiss. She moved around so her dress was completely off of her, and he wrapped his arms around her whole body. He was bigger than she. She was so petite and tiny, and Spock had muscles. Spock was a man. And someone Nyota needed. She took off her bra and she felt him stare at her. Clearly at loss of words. She took his hands and put them on her breasts and she began to kiss him-his hands not leaving her breasts. She was getting wet, and she could feel it. She moaned a little into his mouth, and he kissed her a little harder. She proceeded to unbutton his pants and she slid them down his legs slowly. Keeping eye contact the whole time. She kissed him harder, and faster. She slid her hands down in his boxer-briefs and felt…Nothing. He wasn’t hard at all, not in the least bit.
They stopped kissing, and she could feel her face getting warm. “Oh.” She said.
“Nyota..” Spock said softly.
“I…I have to go.” She said quickly, and she picked up her bra and put it on. Spock just lay there, not quite sure all that had happened. She pulled on her dress and zipped it up as well as she could.
“Nyota. Nyota please.” Spock stood up and began putting on his pants. But Nyota left and walked out. The sun beaming down upon her.
She could hear the birds chirping and people chattering away, laughing, having fun. Why did she have to screw everything up? She began to cry, and hurried herself back to her dorm. Avoiding eye contact with anyone and everyone. When she came in Michelle was packing her bags.
“Where are you going?” Nyota asked on the verge of collapse.
“Oh, we’re visiting Jim’s mom in Iowa for the weekend.” Michelle said brightly. She then slowed down her packing and noticed that Nyota was crying. “Sweetie,” she went towards Nyota and sat on the bed beside her, “What happened?”
“I…” She then noticed Jim walking in. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
Michelle noticed Jim and then said, “Look, if you need to tell me something, you can say it in front of both of us.”
“Yeah, I won’t tell anyone.” Jim said solemnly.
Nyota buried her face in her hands and began to cry deeply. “I can’t!” She sobbed.
“Nyota, Nyota!” Michelle said, jerking Nyota back in forth. But she wouldn’t give way. “Jim! Take the stuff out to the car!”
“Okay.” Jim said briskly. He grabbed his bags and left the room immediately.
“What’s wrong, Oty?” Michelle asked tenderly
“I wanted to have sex with Spock.” Nyota whined. “And, he couldn’t. And I should have listened.”
“What do you mean he couldn’t!?” Michelle asked.
“Pon Farr. And he has children. I said we could try, and it didn’t work. I made a fool of myself. He probably hates me,” Nyota sobbed.
“No, sweetie. I bet he doesn’t. I bet he really does love you.” Michelle said sweetly, handing her some tissues. “Who couldn’t love you?”
“Why did I do that?” Nyota cried. “He said he couldn’t!”
Jim walked back in, “Are all your bags packed?”
“Yeah.” She then turned to Nyota. “Wanna come with us?”
“Huh?” Nyota asked sharply, dabbing the tissue on her eyes and sniffling.
“To Iowa. Get away.” Michelle said.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I really ought to talk to him.” Nyota decided.
“Okay.” She stood up and kissed Nyota on the head. “You gonna be okay, here by yourself?”
“Mmm, yeah.” Nyota said. Wiping the remaining tears off of her cheeks, along with the makeup. “I’ll be fine.”
“Oh cool.” Michelle beamed. She walked over and picked up her bag, and put her hand in Jim’s and waved goodbye and they walked out.
Nyota lay back on her bed, her head spinning. She wanted to die. She needed a drink. She needed anything to get her through this pain. She got up, and walked over to Michelle’s mini-bar on the other side of the room. And proceeded to run her fingers over the many bottles of liquor. She picked up an empty bottle of pills. “No.” She said firmly.
Just then, her phone rang. “Hello?”
“Uhura,” Came McCoy’s booming voice. “Where are you?”
“What?” Nyota said, genuinely confused.
“You’re supposed to be at the café. Remember? With Spock. Speaking of which, where is that pointy eared bastard?” McCoy asked. She could hear Chekov and Sulu in the background. Followed by Gaila’s constant giggles.
“Um. Yeah, I don’t think I’m coming today.” She said, she held the phone to her ear with her shoulder, grabbed a glass, and poured some vodka into it.
“Wait, what?” McCoy asked.
“Is she not coming?” She heard Chekov ask.
“Wait, give me the phone.” She heard Gaila say. “Where are you?” She asked loud and clear.
“I’m in my dorm.” Nyota said. She then took the pills from the bottle and poured them into her hand.
“I’ll come get you!”
“No, thanks. I’m not feeling well. I threw up earlier.” Nyota said.
“Ew, gross. Well, I guess another time. Feel better, Nyota.” Gaila said.
“Okay. Bye.” Nyota hung up the phone. Annoyed, as usual.
She then heard a knock. “Shit!” She said, and the glass dropped to the floor, and shattered. She shrieked and jumped to the side instantly. She jumped over it and ran to the bathroom. She looked around and got a large wad of toilet paper. She ran out and heard Spock calling, “Nyota! Nyota! I know that you are in there! Please, come out!”
Nyota gasped and looked at the broken glass and quickly went into the bathroom and threw them in the trashcan. Spock remained pounding on the door. Then Nyota saw the pills, and just like that, Spock opened the door. Nyota dashed into the bathroom. She sat down near the toilet. Honestly feeling like she was going to be sick.
“Nyota, where are you?” Spock asked. He sounded concerned.
“I’m in here, Spock.” She said. And she heard him walk towards the bathroom and juggle the door handle.
“Mm, don’t come in.” She said worriedly.
“I have just searched half the school for you, and I really have no idea why.” Spock said.
“It’s because you care about me.” Nyota said slowly.
“Nyota, I-”
“I’m sorry. I should have listened to you. It was wrong of me to push it any further.” Nyota said. “I hope you don’t think lower of me.”
“No, of course not.” Spock said quickly. “I never could.”
She closed her eyes and sighed, “What do we do?”
“I am not sure.” Spock said.
“Let’s just stay like this.”
“Alright.”