--Episode 3. Uhura--
Two months later.
Class was stressful. Even for Nyota Uhura. Who focused on her studies. She wouldn’t have it any other way. She spent all of Mr. Scott’s class, rather than learning about nebulas, passing notes to Spock. About…Nebulas. She watched as Michelle stroked Jim’s thigh underneath the desk. And how she would give him a little grin every now and then. She also noticed how he had his hand up Michelle’s skirt. He would rub her softly; she would gasp.
She was jealous. She was seething, and she wanted more. She wanted so much more from Spock than what she was getting.. She ripped off another piece of paper from Spock’s notebook and wrote in neat and tiny scroll: Do you and Jim have to do that?
She passed the note to Michelle. Michelle took her free hand and wrote back: What? Jim loves me. And I love him. What is your problem?
My problem is your practically having sex with your boyfriend in the middle of class.
“Just a moment.” Michelle whispered to Jim and took her hand away and turned to Nyota and hissed,” What the fuck is your god damned problem?”
“Michelle. Shh.” Nyota whispered back, annoyed.
“No, I want to know. Jim and I love each other. We are just the same as you and Spock-”
“You are not!” Nyota hissed back.
“Ladies, do you have a problem up there?” Mr. Scott asked, turning away from the board. Everyone looked back at all four of them. Spock looked at Nyota then over at Jim. Jim simply shrugged.
Nyota started to say no, but Michelle insisted, “Um. Yeah, actually there is.”
“Well, why don’t ye settle it out in the hallway rather than in the middle of class,” Mr. Scott suggested.
“Yeah, thanks,” Michelle gravely. And she stood up and walked out of class, Nyota reluctantly following.
She came out and glared at Michelle, “What was that?”
“Look, I am sick and tired of you always judging me and Jim. Always. We love each other. And it’s not just sex, either. We do care about one another. We’re just trying to have a little fun. Instead of passing notes about fucking nebulas.”
Nyota just shook her head in disgust, “I’m missing a lesson.”
“I don’t give a fuck,” Michelle spat at her. Then she said, “Are you jealous of me?”
“What?” She’d just asked her the unthinkable.
“I said, are you jealous? You act like it. Do you like Jim?”
“Um, no. I have Spock. You can have Jim, I really don’t like him. I just think there are so many other guys you could be with.” Nyota said.
“Okay, well then, why are you acting like this. Just accept I’m dating Jim. And that I love him.” Michelle said.
“I…I don’t want to see you get hurt,” Nyota said finally.
“Well, that’s sweet.” But Nyota couldn’t tell from her tone, whether Michelle meant it or not. “Don’t be mad at me. I love Jim, and there’s nothing anyone can do to change that.”
“I know,” Nyota said finally. She nodded her head.
“I’m still your best friend,” Michelle said with a grin.
And with that, Nyota began to cry. She wasn’t even sure why. This wasn’t even that sad. She looked and felt like an idiot. “Oh, come here,” Michelle cried. And she went over and hugged Nyota as tightly as she could. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Really, she shouldn’t mind it. It happens all the time, she said to herself as she fumbled for the keys in her purse. She walked in yet again to find Jim on top of Michelle in just his underwear. Her, moaning and thrusting up at him. He reached a hand down into her panties. She giggled and groaned up at him. He kissed her neck down to her breast. It was actually kind of pathetic.
Uhura cleared her throat loudly, “Ahem!”
Jim looked up at her and sat up, “Do you really have to do that?”
“Yeah, really!” Michelle agreed.
Uhura shook her head, and began to get undressed, “Do what?” like it didn't even matter to her.
“Just…Barge in here on us. We’re busy.” Michelle snapped.
Nyota laughed, “So much for being busy. And I have as much right to be here as he does. Actually, more right. Why don’t you ever go to your place?”
“Because.” Was all Jim said.
“Because you just like getting on my nerves and annoying me?” Nyota asked, bending down and searching for her silk turquoise dress.
“No. Because McCoy always has some chick there.” Jim said pointedly.
“Is that really good for him?” Nyota asked, “I’ve been really worried about him lately.”
“He’ll be fine,” Michelle said, rolling her eyes.
“Well, I’m leaving anyway.” Nyota said. “So…Carry on.”
“Where are you going?” Michelle asked as Nyota as she put on her dress. She walked over and Michelle zipped up her dress for her.
“Coffee with Spock.” Nyota said.
She rushed out. Not really looking at anyone on the way out. It disgusted her how much sex Jim and Michelle had. Well, really, they hadn’t had much. It was she, that was having no luck in that department. Maybe she was jealous, she shook her head. She really wanted to ‘consummate’ their relationship. She wanted to show Spock she loved him. They’d held hands, and he’d given her a friendly hug. No kiss, no necking behind any stairwell. Her life was boring, and she knew it. She wanted to skip the coffee. She was early, anyway, and the dorm was all to itself. He would say something, though.
"This isn’t you, Nyota" She could already hear in her head. She stopped outside his dorm, it was a lovely day for November. Just as she was about to knock, she chickened out. She couldn’t do it. “Fuck,” She muttered. Just then, some guys walking by yelled, “DUDE, LOOK! THE VULCAN’S GOT A HOOKER!”
“RIGHT OUTSIDE HIS DOOR MAN, THE BLACK CHICK! LOOK!” Uhura was mortified. Weren’t these guys supposed to be mature. How in the hell did they even survive around here? Just then; as if some cosmic joke, the door opened.
“Nyota?” Spock cocked an eyebrow.
“Oh. Oh God,” Nyota said, and she pushed him inside the room and closed the door.
“Nyota, is something the matter? Do we have to call off our plans for coffee this afternoon?” He asked, so completely unaware.
Nyota said,” No…” absentmindedly. And loved how silly he could be with his concern and his care. He really did care for her. She turned and said, “I…Just wanted to see you.”
“I am, touched by your concern.” Spock said. Ordinarily, you would see a grin. But this was Spock. And his face stayed the same. No matter what he seemed to be doing or saying. “I hope this will not take too long. We are already violating codes of Star Fleet conduct by you merely being here.”
“I know, I know. I don’t know how to say this,” Nyota said hurriedly.
“Nyota, there is no need to avoid matters with me. Simply say what you need to say,” Spock urged.
Nyota nodded, “So I’m just gonna do it.”
She leaned in and kissed him. Square on the lips. He gradually put his hands on her hips, and got into the kiss a little more. She wanted to take his hands; move them lower. Shed him of his clothes. Show him what he meant to her. But, was it too soon? It was Spock after all. She put her tongue against his lips, begging for entrance. He obliged her, and they just stood there. Kissing like that, for several seconds. The seconds turned to minutes. They felt the minutes would turn to hours-maybe days.
“N-Nyota.” Spock said breaking from the kiss. “What did you come for?”
“I’m... Not really sure,” Nyota breathed.
“This is not like you,” Spock concluded.
“No,” She stared into his eyes. “Spock, why don’t you…Why don’t you ever kiss me? Is it because you don’t like me?”
“Why, Nyota, what a silly thing to say.” Spock said. He sat her down on the bed beside him. “There is so much more to a relationship than sexual gratification and physical stimulate. I respect you, Nyota. I do care for you. You’re human, so it is only right that you have…Urges.”
“So, are you going to kiss me again or not?” Nyota asked with a playful tone.
Spock leaned in, and they shared on more kiss. She leaned over him, and lay him down gently on the bed. And the kiss became more forceful. And she unbuttoned his shirt. “Nyota,” He looked up at her.
“Please, don’t say no,” She pleaded.
“I…I can not do this.” Spock said, sitting back up.
“What…Why?” She was about to cry.
“Nyota, It is impossible..” He said. He looked embarrassed. Genuinely embarrassed. She could see a green flush in his cheeks.
“Oh.” She said. Then she came to realize what he was talking about, “OH! Oh God, if I would have known…”
“What are you inferring?” Spock asked.
“What are you?”
“Pon Farr.” He said.
“Oh.” She said again. Then she burst into giggles. Spock had a slight grin. A very slight grin. “I thought you had ED!”
“No. That was never the case.” Spock said.
“God…” Nyota said, when the laughing had subsided. “What are we going to do? Wait 7 years?”
“Well, that is the thing, Nyota. I cannot procreate. Not with you.” Spock said, struggling to find words.
“What…What do you mean?” She asked. Tears coming to her eyes with despair.
“I…Simply mean that-I have to procreate with my assigned mate. Her name is T’Pring.” Spock said.
“Where is she?” Nyota brought herself to ask.
“She is on Vulcan,” Spock retorted. “She is living there with my children.”
“I have two children.” Spock said. “They are rather young. One is, I believe, 7 year old. And the other is a newborn, almost 5 months old.”
“She made you leave?” Nyota asked, once again near tears.”
“She did not wish to be with me. I hardly ever see my children. I probably will not see my newborn until my next child is produced.” Spock said; it was sad to see how unfazed he was by all of this.
“I’m sorry. That’s terrible.” Nyota breathed. “I…It would be different with me.”
“Nyota,” He took her face in his hands. “I understand this. And, this would be a lot simpler with you, I concur. But there is simply nothing I can do about this. Surely you understand.”
“We can try,” She said in a light voice. She leaned in and kissed him once more.
And she began to kiss his neck. It was odd, as he just simply lay there. His breathing faster, then slower. Sometimes strained almost. She began to run her hands down his stomach. And she went back up and kissed him slowly and deeply. He sat up a little and she took off his shirt. She felt him reach around and unzip her dress. She tried not to grin; or moan. He ran his hands along her back and went deeper into the kiss. She moved around so her dress was completely off of her, and he wrapped his arms around her whole body. He was bigger than she. She was so petite and tiny, and Spock had muscles. Spock was a man. And someone Nyota needed. She took off her bra and she felt him stare at her. Clearly at loss of words. She took his hands and put them on her breasts and she began to kiss him-his hands not leaving her breasts. She was getting wet, and she could feel it. She moaned a little into his mouth, and he kissed her a little harder. She proceeded to unbutton his pants and she slid them down his legs slowly. Keeping eye contact the whole time. She kissed him harder, and faster. She slid her hands down in his boxer-briefs and felt…Nothing. He wasn’t hard at all, not in the least bit.
They stopped kissing, and she could feel her face getting warm. “Oh.” She said.
“Nyota..” Spock said softly.
“I…I have to go.” She said quickly, and she picked up her bra and put it on. Spock just lay there, not quite sure all that had happened. She pulled on her dress and zipped it up as well as she could.
“Nyota. Nyota please.” Spock stood up and began putting on his pants. But Nyota left and walked out. The sun beaming down upon her.
She could hear the birds chirping and people chattering away, laughing, having fun. Why did she have to screw everything up? She began to cry, and hurried herself back to her dorm. Avoiding eye contact with anyone and everyone. When she came in Michelle was packing her bags.
“Where are you going?” Nyota asked on the verge of collapse.
“Oh, we’re visiting Jim’s mom in Iowa for the weekend.” Michelle said brightly. She then slowed down her packing and noticed that Nyota was crying. “Sweetie,” she went towards Nyota and sat on the bed beside her, “What happened?”
“I…” She then noticed Jim walking in. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
Michelle noticed Jim and then said, “Look, if you need to tell me something, you can say it in front of both of us.”
“Yeah, I won’t tell anyone.” Jim said solemnly.
Nyota buried her face in her hands and began to cry deeply. “I can’t!” She sobbed.
“Nyota, Nyota!” Michelle said, jerking Nyota back in forth. But she wouldn’t give way. “Jim! Take the stuff out to the car!”
“Okay.” Jim said briskly. He grabbed his bags and left the room immediately.
“What’s wrong, Oty?” Michelle asked tenderly
“I wanted to have sex with Spock.” Nyota whined. “And, he couldn’t. And I should have listened.”
“What do you mean he couldn’t!?” Michelle asked.
“Pon Farr. And he has children. I said we could try, and it didn’t work. I made a fool of myself. He probably hates me,” Nyota sobbed.
“No, sweetie. I bet he doesn’t. I bet he really does love you.” Michelle said sweetly, handing her some tissues. “Who couldn’t love you?”
“Why did I do that?” Nyota cried. “He said he couldn’t!”
Jim walked back in, “Are all your bags packed?”
“Yeah.” She then turned to Nyota. “Wanna come with us?”
“Huh?” Nyota asked sharply, dabbing the tissue on her eyes and sniffling.
“To Iowa. Get away.” Michelle said.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I really ought to talk to him.” Nyota decided.
“Okay.” She stood up and kissed Nyota on the head. “You gonna be okay, here by yourself?”
“Mmm, yeah.” Nyota said. Wiping the remaining tears off of her cheeks, along with the makeup. “I’ll be fine.”
“Oh cool.” Michelle beamed. She walked over and picked up her bag, and put her hand in Jim’s and waved goodbye and they walked out.
Nyota lay back on her bed, her head spinning. She wanted to die. She needed a drink. She needed anything to get her through this pain. She got up, and walked over to Michelle’s mini-bar on the other side of the room. And proceeded to run her fingers over the many bottles of liquor. She picked up an empty bottle of pills. “No.” She said firmly.
Just then, her phone rang. “Hello?”
“Uhura,” Came McCoy’s booming voice. “Where are you?”
“What?” Nyota said, genuinely confused.
“You’re supposed to be at the café. Remember? With Spock. Speaking of which, where is that pointy eared bastard?” McCoy asked. She could hear Chekov and Sulu in the background. Followed by Gaila’s constant giggles.
“Um. Yeah, I don’t think I’m coming today.” She said, she held the phone to her ear with her shoulder, grabbed a glass, and poured some vodka into it.
“Wait, what?” McCoy asked.
“Is she not coming?” She heard Chekov ask.
“Wait, give me the phone.” She heard Gaila say. “Where are you?” She asked loud and clear.
“I’m in my dorm.” Nyota said. She then took the pills from the bottle and poured them into her hand.
“I’ll come get you!”
“No, thanks. I’m not feeling well. I threw up earlier.” Nyota said.
“Ew, gross. Well, I guess another time. Feel better, Nyota.” Gaila said.
“Okay. Bye.” Nyota hung up the phone. Annoyed, as usual.
She then heard a knock. “Shit!” She said, and the glass dropped to the floor, and shattered. She shrieked and jumped to the side instantly. She jumped over it and ran to the bathroom. She looked around and got a large wad of toilet paper. She ran out and heard Spock calling, “Nyota! Nyota! I know that you are in there! Please, come out!”
Nyota gasped and looked at the broken glass and quickly went into the bathroom and threw them in the trashcan. Spock remained pounding on the door. Then Nyota saw the pills, and just like that, Spock opened the door. Nyota dashed into the bathroom. She sat down near the toilet. Honestly feeling like she was going to be sick.
“Nyota, where are you?” Spock asked. He sounded concerned.
“I’m in here, Spock.” She said. And she heard him walk towards the bathroom and juggle the door handle.
“Mm, don’t come in.” She said worriedly.
“I have just searched half the school for you, and I really have no idea why.” Spock said.
“It’s because you care about me.” Nyota said slowly.
“I’m sorry. I should have listened to you. It was wrong of me to push it any further.” Nyota said. “I hope you don’t think lower of me.”
“No, of course not.” Spock said quickly. “I never could.”
She closed her eyes and sighed, “What do we do?”
“I am not sure.” Spock said.
“Let’s just stay like this.”